1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor’s left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure you can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, “I don’t understand ANY of this. I’ve been to every lecture all semester long! What’s the deal? And who the hell are you? Where’s the regular guy?”
8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc…). Play with the volume at max level.
9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
10. Bring pets.
11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.
12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas.” If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
15. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette’s Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don’t know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he’s not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out “Fuck this!” and walk out triumphantly.
25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone’s done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)
26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, “the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!”
28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling “I’m here, the phantom of the opera” until they drag you away.
30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say “you don’t really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!”
32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor’s requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
36. Come in wearing a full knight’s outfit, complete with sword and shield.
37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
38. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious… like history notes for a calculus exam… otherwise you’re not just failing, you’re getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment “Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit.”
39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
41. One word: Wrestlemania.
42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc… sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say “it helps me think.” Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don’t forget to use the phrase “Told you so”.
50. Answer the exam with the “Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks”

• We polish the Polish furniture.
• He could lead if he would get the lead out.
• A farm can produce produce.
• The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
• The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
• The present is a good time to present the present.
• At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
• The dove dove into the bushes.
• I did not object to the object.
• The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
• The bandage was wound around the wound.
• There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
• They were too close to the door to close it.
• The buck does funny things when the does are present.
• They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
• To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
• The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
• After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
• I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
• I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
• How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
• I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”

3. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”

4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”

7. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”

8. Practice making fax and modem noises.

9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.

10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

11. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”

12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.

13. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.

14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”

16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.

17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.

18. Honk and wave to strangers.

19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

21. type only in lowercase.

22. dont use any punctuation either

23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
“DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
“What?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”

25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.

27. Ask people what gender they are.

28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

30. Sing along at the opera.

31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.

32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”

Quotes to read when you are bored.

“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead.”
Woody Allen.

“I like children – fried.”
WC Fields.

“Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they’re eating sandwiches.”
Jim Carrey.

“Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.”
Matt Lauer (on NBC’s Today Show).

“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
Steven Wright (…more Steven Wright Quotes).

“Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can’t believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I’m still hungry.”
Mike Kalin.

“Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favourite food is seconds.”
Joan Rivers.

“A winkle is just a bogey with a crash helmet on.”
Mick Miller.

“I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.”
Eddie Izzard.

“I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”
Steven Wright.

“We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.”
Dan Quayle.

“I’m a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed.”
Bruce Lee.

“What’s on your mind, if you’ll forgive the overstatement?”
Fred Allen.

“Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?”
John Mendosa.

“Why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.”
Will Rogers.

“College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.”
Ruby Wax.

“If a man is a fool, you don’t train him out of being a fool by sending him to university. You merely turn him into a trained fool, ten times more dangerous.”
Desmond Bagley.

“Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.”
Pablo Picasso.

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.”
Rich Cook.

“Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.”
Rita May Brown.

“All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.”
Isaac Asimov.

“To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.”
Paul Ehrlich.

“UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.”
Dennis Ritchie.

“The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.”
Al Goodman.

“The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there’s no law against whacking them around a bit.”
Eric Porterfield.

We each have our daily routine and sometimes we get bored from the same activities over and over again.

That is why we have extra-curricular activities, vacations, hobbies etc. to take us out of sometimes boring mundane lives.

Browsing around in Powerbooks, I found a book titled, ‘This Book Will Change Your Life Again!’ by Benrik Limited.

The book instructs everyone, who gets hold of it, to follow the instructions indicated per day to make their lives more fun. ^^ Instructions included are not to be taken lightly for some are either twisted or weird in context and may degrade one’s ego but the fun is in there! LOL

The book is not of cheap value here in the Philippines, but I was able to get a copy of it (my poor wallet -_-). As a treat to the other members of Winglica, I’m placing some of the instructions here for fun. It would depend on you if you are to follow them seriously. But the most important value here is to have fun and laugh to yourself or with others

DISCLAIMER: The following instructions are not from me. They are from the book.

NOTE: Winglica will not be held liable for any harm that may come from following the instructions. Members will be held responsible for their own actions. So please still be cautious of your actions. Just a friendly warning. ^^

* To learn more of Benrik, visit this homepage.

• Parasite Day
  In our intricate society, there are many opportunities for free-riding. Today see if you can live literally at the expense of others.
  * Hitchhike a free ride in other people’s cars.
  * In restaurants, finish other people’s leftovers.
  * Listen to the radio from someone else’s set.
  * Watch TV through someone else’s window.
  * Enjoy the conversation of complete strangers.
  * Read books or newspapers over other people’s shoulders.
• World Domination Day
  Make your plans in advance in case you need them
  * Your title: ___ Emperor ___ Supreme Ruler ___ Generalissimo ___ Other
  * Site of your world capital: ___ Paris ___ Washington ___ Beijing ___ Other
  * Capital to be renamed after: ___ You ___ Your Mom ___ Your Pet ___ Other
  * Enemies to be liquidated:
  * Friends to be promoted:
  * Countries to be abolished:
  * Planets to be subjucated:
  * Number of slaves in your harem:
  * Number of cars in your garage:
  * Number of jets in your personal fleet:
  * Catchphrase: ___ I rule for no one (but me) ___ An iron fist in an iron glove ___ Kill first, torture later ___ Other
• Today, apologize for something your ancestors did.
• Today, smile inappropriately
  Aren’t you sick of smiling inappropriately? Who is it that tells you when to smile anyway? Corporate advertisers for the great toothpaste market are making millions from linking normal life with appropriate smiling. So today disrupt their marketing ploys by smiling when you shouldn’t. Smile when you hear bad news. Smile when you hear something offensive. Smile when a baby cries. Just smile, and smile and smile your face off, but only when you shouldn’t. Let them make a marketing campaign of that. You will either be applauded for being enigmatic or they will just incarcerate you for being a psychopath. And if they do, just smile.
• Today infect someone
  We are all covered in germs, whether bacteria, protozoa, fungi or viruses. It is useless to fight it; instead, today, embrace our germ-ridden nature and pass some of yours on to the next guy. Shake hands, cough, hug, kiss – do whatever it takes to pass the bacterial love…
• Today write a letter to your future self.
• Today do everything in slow motion.
  
  The reason movies show dramatic events in slow motion isn’t just to let us see the details. Accidents and other high-stress situations are actually experienced in slow motion. Scientists speculate that the rush of adrenalin alters our brain’s perception of time – what the Greeks called tachypsychia or distortion of the “speed of the mind.” Those Greeks!
• Make a sticker of any of the ff and place it on your back.
  * I’m Lonely. Please talk to me.
  * Today is my Birthday!
  * STOP following me.
  * AMNESIAC. If you recognize me, let me know.

Like it so far? Just inform us if you would like to read more. Ja! ^^