by David Leonhardt

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at the barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?

Some say “football”. Some say “baseball”. Canadians say “hockey“. The rest of the world says “soccer”. (Actually, they say “football”, too…but they mean “soccer”.)

I say: “kissing”. Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.

ATTENTION: If bad breath (yours or your partner’s) makes you uncomfortable kissing, you need The Bad Breath Report

Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew’s cheek kiss while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded kiss of death, the “Hey you! Kiss this!”, and even the Florida town of Kissimmee (founded, no doubt, by early Italian pioneer kissers).

The Art of Kissing Is Easy

Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn’t matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.

Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and marsupial groupies.

Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-booooring meeting that seems to last oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?

Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most earth-bound countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.

Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment.

Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.

Kissing is non toxic…unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you do not use your mouth.

Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes. (Read the headline: “Kissing prevents diabetes”)

Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.

Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?

You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife, your veterinarian, the Prime Minister of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick and your pet aardvark. Don’t try kissing them all at the same time, though…especially not your boyfriend and your wife.

Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a tremendous safety record, except for the occasional locked braces. But a quick call for a AAA tow truck fixes that problem (CAA in Canada, AA in the UK, the local plumber in France)

Extreme Kissing NOT Recommended

The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers and other spectators who somehow get past security and storm onto the playing field like that well-dressed gentleman at the Superbowl.

We do NOT recommend “extreme kissing”. For instance, don’t kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don’t kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; readers in northern climates know exactly what I mean. Don’t kiss any electrical outlets, or you’ll look like this.

Are you paying attention? This one is important. Don’t kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to retain all your vital organs. It’s OK to kiss sandpaper, just don’t use your tongue. Don’t kiss a chainsaw; we feel this one is self-explanatory. And don’t kiss your office manager while on duty…unless you happen to be a work-from-home hermit like me.

But overall, kissing is so great that it makes baseball, hockey, football and soccer seem like bush league sports. Next time you hear a brawl at your local barbershop, just go in and give everyone a kiss. I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with.

David Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column. Get a free humor ebook with your purchase of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven. Check out also the free A Daily Dose of Happiness ezine David Leonhardt also runs a Liquid Vitamins website.

I’m sure in one time or another, everybody went into the phase of thinking or being in a diet to shed some calories to have a more attractive physique.

Unfortunately, there are too many diet methods to choose from and our bodies can be too picky in choosing the correct one to get the body shape we want.

And since Winglica members are quite a crazy determined bunch in their online activities, we’re thinking we could help some of these body conscious people have simpler lives in providing options on how to shed those unwanted calories.

Remember that determination and discipline is the key to a succesful diet. Below is a list of activities you could do with their corresponding number of calories shed per hour.

DISCLAIMER: I did not create this list. I first got this from a forwarded email and later found out its origin from a book titled “Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas” (Judas’ favorite book) by Bob Ong.

NOTE: I believe some of these facts are true and I’m not so sure of the others. So let’s each do our research. ^^ Still, these are not to be taken seriously. These are meant for fun and humor. Winglica will not be held responsible for any health issues resulting from extensively following what is stated in this article.

This book is originally in Tagalog. I tried my best to translate everything correctly. I also had to change some words / context to make non-Filipinos understand the concept. I hope I got everything right. XD

(Written by two people by the names of Barbara and David Mikkelson)

Pop Rocks were invented by a research scientist by the name of William A. Mitchell. The candy was presented to the public in 1975 and enchanted young children with it’s “fizzle”. Each small nugget contained carbon which would release whenever a Pop Rock would be placed in the mouth. It resulted to an “exploding” and yet “sizzling” experience.

p>Legend says, combining Pop Rocks with carbonated drinks such as soda, would make the stomach explode from too much carbon dioxide. Truthfully, Pop Rocks have the same amount of carbon as half a can of soda. Combining the two would result to nothing other than a belch. Although the candy was thoroughly tested, few people of Seattle were still quite alarmed. A hotline was made by The Food and Drug Administration which was to guarantee that Pop Rocks wouldn’t cause their children to choke.

Catwin C.:

Rumors say, Little Mikey of LIFE Cereal died by eating six packets of Pop Rocks followed by drinking a can of Pepsi. That rumor was proven wrong. The reason why he was the victim was because Mikey was known to many children by his famed commercials. If anything was to happen to him, it would certainly be passed around. The man who played as Mikey, John Gilchrist is still alive and kicking. He now works at New York radio station as an advertising manager.

General Foods was fought back the “exploded kid” rumors on 1979 by making full page ads on 45 publications, sending 50,000 letters to schools all over America, and sent the inventor of the crazed confection to travel around, explaining how Pop Rocks have about the same amount of carbon as a half a can of soda.

At around 1983, the company stopped selling Pop Rocks which was thought to be “proof” that the candy was harmful. What they didn’t know was that Kraft bought the product from General Foods two years later and then sold it as “Action Candy” from a company known as Carbonated Candy. Pop Rocks are sold now under their original name, Pop Rocks Incorporation.