by David Leonhardt

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at the barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?

Some say “football”. Some say “baseball”. Canadians say “hockey“. The rest of the world says “soccer”. (Actually, they say “football”, too…but they mean “soccer”.)

I say: “kissing”. Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.

ATTENTION: If bad breath (yours or your partner’s) makes you uncomfortable kissing, you need The Bad Breath Report

Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew’s cheek kiss while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded kiss of death, the “Hey you! Kiss this!”, and even the Florida town of Kissimmee (founded, no doubt, by early Italian pioneer kissers).

The Art of Kissing Is Easy

Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn’t matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.

Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and marsupial groupies.

Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-booooring meeting that seems to last oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?

Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most earth-bound countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.

Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment.

Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.

Kissing is non toxic…unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you do not use your mouth.

Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes. (Read the headline: “Kissing prevents diabetes”)

Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.

Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?

You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife, your veterinarian, the Prime Minister of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick and your pet aardvark. Don’t try kissing them all at the same time, though…especially not your boyfriend and your wife.

Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a tremendous safety record, except for the occasional locked braces. But a quick call for a AAA tow truck fixes that problem (CAA in Canada, AA in the UK, the local plumber in France)

Extreme Kissing NOT Recommended

The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers and other spectators who somehow get past security and storm onto the playing field like that well-dressed gentleman at the Superbowl.

We do NOT recommend “extreme kissing”. For instance, don’t kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don’t kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; readers in northern climates know exactly what I mean. Don’t kiss any electrical outlets, or you’ll look like this.

Are you paying attention? This one is important. Don’t kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to retain all your vital organs. It’s OK to kiss sandpaper, just don’t use your tongue. Don’t kiss a chainsaw; we feel this one is self-explanatory. And don’t kiss your office manager while on duty…unless you happen to be a work-from-home hermit like me.

But overall, kissing is so great that it makes baseball, hockey, football and soccer seem like bush league sports. Next time you hear a brawl at your local barbershop, just go in and give everyone a kiss. I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with.

David Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column. Get a free humor ebook with your purchase of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven. Check out also the free A Daily Dose of Happiness ezine David Leonhardt also runs a Liquid Vitamins website.

I’m sure in one time or another, everybody went into the phase of thinking or being in a diet to shed some calories to have a more attractive physique.

Unfortunately, there are too many diet methods to choose from and our bodies can be too picky in choosing the correct one to get the body shape we want.

And since Winglica members are quite a crazy determined bunch in their online activities, we’re thinking we could help some of these body conscious people have simpler lives in providing options on how to shed those unwanted calories.

Remember that determination and discipline is the key to a succesful diet. Below is a list of activities you could do with their corresponding number of calories shed per hour.

DISCLAIMER: I did not create this list. I first got this from a forwarded email and later found out its origin from a book titled “Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas” (Judas’ favorite book) by Bob Ong.

NOTE: I believe some of these facts are true and I’m not so sure of the others. So let’s each do our research. ^^ Still, these are not to be taken seriously. These are meant for fun and humor. Winglica will not be held responsible for any health issues resulting from extensively following what is stated in this article.

This book is originally in Tagalog. I tried my best to translate everything correctly. I also had to change some words / context to make non-Filipinos understand the concept. I hope I got everything right. XD

Basketball	800 calories per hour (cph)
Volleyball	500 cph
Jueteng	100 cph
Watching: Survivor	60 cph
Watching: porno movie	300 cph
Watching: porno movie (no cuts)	950 cph
Watching: SONA (State Of the Nation Address) of the President	1 cph
Tennis	410 cph
Judo	900 cph
Riot	1,000 cph
Table Tennis	240 cph
Table, chairs, and party needs	FOR RENT
Web browsing	40 cph
Playing Gameboy	540 cph
Walking by the seashore	50 cph
Walking alone by a dark alley	350 cph
Walking alone by a dark alley at 1am in the morning	890 cph
Mountain Climbing	600 cph
Social Climbing	710 cph
Internet chatting	1 cph
Chatting via text	1 cph
Chatting via phone	1 cph
Sleeping	1 cph
Swimming	300 cph
Swimming with sharks	980 cph
Skiing	600 cph
Applying for VISA to go skiing	1,600 cph
Cycling	210 cph
Running	500 cph
Running for public office	1,584.73 cph
Arraignment	26, 250 cph
Lethal Injection	26, 251 cph

(Written by two people by the names of Barbara and David Mikkelson)

Pop Rocks were invented by a research scientist by the name of William A. Mitchell. The candy was presented to the public in 1975 and enchanted young children with it’s “fizzle”. Each small nugget contained carbon which would release whenever a Pop Rock would be placed in the mouth. It resulted to an “exploding” and yet “sizzling” experience.

p>Legend says, combining Pop Rocks with carbonated drinks such as soda, would make the stomach explode from too much carbon dioxide. Truthfully, Pop Rocks have the same amount of carbon as half a can of soda. Combining the two would result to nothing other than a belch. Although the candy was thoroughly tested, few people of Seattle were still quite alarmed. A hotline was made by The Food and Drug Administration which was to guarantee that Pop Rocks wouldn’t cause their children to choke.

Catwin C.:

Rumors say, Little Mikey of LIFE Cereal died by eating six packets of Pop Rocks followed by drinking a can of Pepsi. That rumor was proven wrong. The reason why he was the victim was because Mikey was known to many children by his famed commercials. If anything was to happen to him, it would certainly be passed around. The man who played as Mikey, John Gilchrist is still alive and kicking. He now works at New York radio station as an advertising manager.

General Foods was fought back the “exploded kid” rumors on 1979 by making full page ads on 45 publications, sending 50,000 letters to schools all over America, and sent the inventor of the crazed confection to travel around, explaining how Pop Rocks have about the same amount of carbon as a half a can of soda.

At around 1983, the company stopped selling Pop Rocks which was thought to be “proof” that the candy was harmful. What they didn’t know was that Kraft bought the product from General Foods two years later and then sold it as “Action Candy” from a company known as Carbonated Candy. Pop Rocks are sold now under their original name, Pop Rocks Incorporation.

Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately — without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain relievers."

Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns?

Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They’ll clear up your stuffed nose.

Achy muscles from the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in a cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.

Sore Throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.

Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve wo tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly — even though the product has never been advertised for this use.

Eliminate puffiness under your eyes…. All you need is a dab of preparation H, carefully rubbed into the skin, avoiding the eyes. The hemorrhoid ointment acts as a vasoconstrictor, relieving the swelling instantly.

Honey remedy for skin blemishes… Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a band-aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin, sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.

Listerine therapy for toenail fungus… Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.

Easy eyeglass protection… To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.

Coca-Cola cure for rust… Forget those expensive rust removers. Just saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done.

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer… If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can’t find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.

Smart splinter remover. just pour a drop of Elmers Glue all over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.

Hunt’s tomato paste boil cure… cover the boil with Hunt’s tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.

Balm for broken blisters… To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine… a powerful antiseptic.

Heinz vinegar to heal bruises… Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.

Quaker Oat for fast pain relief……it’s not for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of Ouaker Oats and 1cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.