One liners
Jasmine @ July 16, 2007 # One Comment
Some questions that could make your boggle your brains or make you groan in dismay. ^^
1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…..
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The […]
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Wisdom (loosely defined) of Larry, the Cable guy
Jasmine @ July 3, 2007 # No Comment Yet
* The ff was a shared document by an officemate. Really made our day. ^0^
A day without sunshine is like night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Remember, half the people you know are below […]
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World’s Best Jokes
Licorne @ January 18, 2007 # No Comment Yet
The University of Hertfordshire recently concluded a research project to find the best jokes in the world. Here they are :
Best Joke in the world
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back […]
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General Ways to Annoy People
Jasmine @ January 9, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Accuse people of “glue sniffing addictions” in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it’s longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way”.
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in […]
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How to Totally Fake Being a Geek
Jasmine @ January 3, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Yes, it’s come to this. The same people you raked on in high school now run the world and control every gizmo you own or want to own. And, as you hold your “normal” identity throughout your life, there are times when it may be advantageous to pose as a geek. Maybe to convince your […]
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Fifty Fun Things To Do During A Final That You Know You Are Going To Fail
Jasmine @ December 7, 2006 # 2 Comments
Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”
If it is a math/science exam, answer in […]
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No Wonder English Is So Hard To Learn
Jasmine @ November 22, 2006 # No Comment Yet
We polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
A farm can produce produce.
The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
The present is a good time to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a […]
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How to Tick People Off
Jasmine @ September 7, 2006 # No Comment Yet
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little […]
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Quotes to Remember
Jasmine @ May 31, 2006 # No Comment Yet
Quotes to read when you are bored.
“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead.”
Woody Allen.
“I like children - fried.”
WC Fields.
“Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they’re eating sandwiches.”
Jim Carrey.
“Researchers […]
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These will change your life!
Jasmine @ May 1, 2006 # No Comment Yet
We each have our daily routine and sometimes we get bored from the same activities over and over again.
That is why we have extra-curricular activities, vacations, hobbies etc. to take us out of sometimes boring mundane lives.
Browsing around in Powerbooks, I found a book titled, ‘This Book Will Change Your Life Again!’ by Benrik Limited.
The […]
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