Licorne is looking at a lyric sheet of a Japanese love song. The sheet contains the Japanese and English translations.

Licorne: Hey! Look here! The japanese line is ‘nakidashite shimatta‘ but the english translation is ‘I ended up crying.’

Jasmine: So?

Licorne: But doesn’t shimatta mean ‘Damn it!’ in English?

Jasmine: Yeah.

Licorne: So shouldn’t the lyrics mean ‘I ended up crying, damn it!’ ?

Jasmine: Don’t ruin a perfectly good love song!

Note: We know that’s not the only meaning of the word ’shimatta’ but we just wanted to mess with you. XD

As they’re passing by a computer hardware store:

Jasmine: Urrg. I remember I have to buy a damn printer.

Licorne: Damn printer? Why?

Jasmine: Because my damn printer’s broken! *shakes fist anime-style*

Licorne: Damn? That’s going to be the Word of the Day, isn’t it?

Jasmine: Damn right!

Due to recent terrorist threats, shoppers’ bags are inspected at the malls to ensure that they don’t contain explosives or any other dangerous devices. Sensors and alarms are also installed on store doorways. The two girls enter a bookstore with the doorway alarms.

Jasmine: Hmp! All this security!

Licorne: I was kind of wishing the alarm would go off when you pass the door.

Jasmine: *sticks out tongue* But I’ll know what I’ll say when it goes off when I pass through it.

Licorne: What?

Jasmine: *holds up hands in a reassuring manner to invisible people* It’s ok. That’s normal. It’s just me. I’m The Bomb!

Licorne: *starts walking in the opposite direction* Eee–gads!

During a telephone conversation.

Licorne: Why is your voice so hoarse?

Jasmine: I have a cold.

Licorne: Are you sure? It doesn’t sound like it.

Jasmine: No. I transform into a guy at night so the pitch of my voice goes much lower.

Licorne: Oh.

- Silence -

Licorne: Something like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?

Jasmine: Yep.

- Silence -

Licorne: So who am I talking to right now, then?

During another telephone conversation.

Jasmine: Hello?

Licorne: You’re voice is hoarse again.

Jasmine: That’s because I have a cold. Again.

Licorne: Good thing you don’t talk to the members at night then. You’d scare them out of their wits.

Jasmine: Hey! I got a funny text message. The person must have sent it to me by mistake.

Licorne: Why is it so funny?

Jasmine: It says, ‘Honey, How are you? Don’t forget to bring back a present for our son. From Mom.’ Isn’t it hilarious? Me, having a son! Whahaha!

Licorne: You have a son?! What did you do?

Jasmine: I didn’t do anything! As if I have a son!

Licorne: Are you sure? You transform into a guy at night, remember? Who knows what you do then?

- Silence -

Jasmine: Oh.

Licorne: In fact, how can we be sure what you do then? You could literally have hundreds of sons and daughters running around everywhere, and hundreds of wives besides! Oh, the unspeakable horror!

Jasmine: Shut up.

Note: Some snippets will be written in our native language as they have more ‘impact’ when said that way. Nonetheless, English translations will still be included. Note that the English translations will be the closest translations in meaning or thought in the whole sentence. I will not translate the per English word, as that will compromise the idea and meanings of the conversations.

This was a phone text last September 23, 2005.

Jasmine: Happy Birthday! Tumatanda ka na! =) (Happy Birthday! You’re getting old! =))

Licorne: Salamat! Pero tandaan mo, pag tumatanda ako, mas matanda ka! Nyahaha! (Thank you! But remember, if I’m getting old, you’re always older! Nyahaha!)

Jasmine: Ayoko na! Break na tayo! (That’s it! We’re through! or We’re breaking up! )

Licorne: Hmp! Ikaw lang naman ang balik ng balik sa akin eh! (Hmp! You’re the one who keeps coming back to me!)

Note: Licorne = chocaholic (excessive love for chocolate); Jasmine = coffeeholic (excessive love for coffee)

Roaming the mall, they see a shop with a sign that says “Chocolate Ecstasy – 3 for P100″ So they stop and look.

Licorne: Look at that! Chocolate! *bites lower lip* The cake is covered with chocolate icing and it’s swimming in rich, thick and creamy chocolate sauce! Oh, to buy or not to buy?

Jasmine: *not caring* As I’m not the chocaholic, the sight of that does not affect me.

Licorne: But didn’t you know that some chocolates are taken from the same bean that produces coffee? So in that case they have almost similar ingredients!

- Silence -

Jasmine: How much did you say it was again?

Licorne: Where have you been?! I’ve been calling for hours!

Jasmine: Why? You missed me? =)

Licorne: Get away from me.

Jasmine: You know, I was thinking–

Licorne: Did it hurt?

Jasmine: Stop that! I was thinking, if we publish most of our wacky conversations online, and due to the their frequent theme, some people might think we’re more than friends.

Licorne: Eh?!?!

Jasmine: Ooh, Yuri!

(Yuri: In anime terms, girl to girl love)

They look at each other for a moment.

Jasmine and Licorne: Eewwwwww!!! *their distance from each other increased 4 meters*

Jasmine: That idea’s so gross!

Licorne: Excuse me while I gag in overwhelming self disgust.

*shudders*

Note: We do not condemn or even presume to judge people who have this preference (girls who like girls). They have a freedom to choose their life and far be it for us to judge them. However, we are not of the same inclinations, and that should also be respected. I repeat, we like men! =)

Jasmine has managed to coerce Licorne into watching the movie “The Corpse Bride.” As they had close to an hour before the movie starts, they decided to eat at a nearby food store.

While eating, Jasmine sees a little kid in a stroller; she smiles and signals to Licorne to look at the child.

Licorne: *rolls eyes*

Jasmine: What? The kid’s cute!

Licorne: Pedophile.

Jasmine: Thank you!

While watching the movie:

Jasmine: That’s the scariest looking animated maggot I have ever seen.

Licorne: Yeah. Who would have thought that a maggot can wear so much lipstick?!

Jasmine: Why does it seem that I’m always the underdog in these conversations?

Licorne: Hey, don’t blame me. I always send them to you for approval, or to edit or delete as you like. But you don’t change a thing and you approve its posting online. What are you complaining about?

Jasmine: I know, I know. I know these conversations are true to life, but. . . after reading them, I never realized how much of an underdog I am.

Licorne: *shocked* I–I didn’t know . . . I mean, after almost 10 years of friendship, you only realized that now?

Jasmine: Someday I’m going to strangle you, you know.

After buying and finishing her cup of coffee, Jasmine starts window shopping with Licorne.
Jasmine: *smiles in wonder* Ooh!
Licorne: What?
Jasmine: I can feel the coffee inside my tummy!
Licorne: *grimaces* Is that really something you’d tell me about? *rolls eyes*
Jasmine: I can’t help it! I love the way it moves inside my stomach.
- Silence -
Licorne: Should I leave you two alone?

Note: Toilet cleaner = hydrochloric acid (well, basically)
At the grocery store, Jasmine reaches for a bottle of toilet cleaner and puts it in her grocery basket.
Licorne: Didn’t you just buy a bottle of that last week?
Jasmine: Yes, but we already ran out of it this week.
Licorne: *wonders* How can you use up that much toilet cleaner in one week? (an idea strikes) You drink it don’t you?
Jasmine: What?! I do not!
Licorne: (nodding in comprehension) No wonder your skin is so white. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "cleans from the inside out."
Jasmine: I do not drink it!

The two girls walk past a little girl riding in a grocery trolley. The little girl suddenly screams.
Child: Waaaaiiiii!
Jasmine turns to the child and smiles.
Jasmine: (smiling) Hi!
- Silence -
Licorne: The child’s too shocked by fear at the sight of your face to reply.
Jasmine: (to Licorne) You’re so mean!

Licorne’s brows are furrowed in concentration at the thing she’s holding.
Licorne: It’s pink, kind of soft, but a bit rough too. I squish it; I lick it; and then I put it in my mouth. It feels slippery; I swirl it around and around my mouth; I play my tongue over it; I can even bite it… and then…
Jasmine: You’re playing with a gummy bear again, aren’t you?
Licorne: I swallow it! Nyahaha!

Still at the grocery store.
Jasmine: Let’s go over there.
Licorne: Why? We’ve got everything on our grocery list here.
Jasmine: There’s a new item in my shopping list today.
Licorne: What?
Jasmine: I don’t even want to tell you. You’d accuse me of something I don’t do.
Licorne: Why? What is it?
- Silence -
Jasmine: *sighs* Racumin (rat poison)
Licorne suddenly smiles and opens her mouth to say something. Jasmine holds up one hand to stop her.
Jasmine: Don’t. Even. Say it.