Wisdom (loosely defined) of Larry, the Cable guy
* The ff was a shared document by an officemate. Really made our day. ^0^
- A day without sunshine is like night.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Remember, half the people you know are below average.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
- Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
- If you think nobody cares, try missing a few payments.
- How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
- OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
- When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
- What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Inside every older perrson is a younger person wondering, “What the hell happened?”
- Just remember-if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
- Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
- Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn you butt tomorrow.
- One Out of Four People in This Country is Mentally Unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends… If they seem okay, then You’re the ONE.
NOTE: Not sure to which country this is referring to, but it’s funny anyway. ^_^
Jasmine @ July 3, 2007